Fairytales and Fifteen Year Olds.

“And then, the stranger, who of course will be ‘the one’, will look up at me and catch my smile from across the balcony. He will walk up to me,…Not mysteriously. He won’t have that suave air about him or that darkness that some females swoon over. He’ll be grinning like a fool in love, because that’s what he’ll be. My cheeks will be so cherry red that the color will show through even tan skin like mine. Once he is standing in front of me, he won’t hesitate. We both know it now. He’ll pick me up and walk away from the crowd. That’s how he’ll find me.”

Those are the words I scribbled in my journal when I was thirteen. I let my friend read them that night, in her dark bedroom where the shadows kept her from seeing the vulnerability on my face. She was fifteen.

“You know that’s never going to happen right?” she asked as she handed me back the journal, “I mean, it's a good story. But it’s never going to happen.”

“Oh. Yeah. I know. I just… I was thinking about it…and I wrote it…so…But no, it wouldn’t.” I stumbled on my words.

The two years that separated us made her infinitely wiser in the ways of the world, in my young eyes.

Perhaps sensing the disappointment in my voice she said encouragingly:

"It's good though, like a fairy tale. Just don't get your hopes up."
That's when I decided.

I tucked the journal back into my bag and changed the subject.

Early the next day, I walked into my parent’s office room and sat in the vacant chair in front of the computer. I began typing.

“And then after we leave the crowd, and we know we have finally found each other…We’ll lay outside on the grass on a blanket, or maybe even a hammock if we are lucky enough to find one by chance. The dim of the stars will reveal the happiness on his face and mine. We’ll talk for hours, catching up on everything we have missed. “Where have you been?” he’ll ask me, and so the conversation of our lives will begin…”

And that time, I kept the words for myself. My own secret fairytale.
And now, with this blog, I’m finally, finally, finally, opening up again.

Hello World, I’m a little bit braver now.